Exactly what to say: when she says “no”

Massively increase your party attendance!
August 29, 2018
Exactly What To Say: when you want to tell someone about your products
October 5, 2018

You are just wrapping up your party presentation and everyone is excited about your products.  Your confidence is boundless, the orders are sure to be abundant and bookings will be off the charts!    But when you ask your guests, one by one, all they give you are reasons why they cannot host: “my house is too small” or “I don’t have enough friends.”  What’s going on here?

What I discovered in my direct sales career is that reasons are really just the word “no” in disguise.  Saying “no” feels like rejection, so many women do not like to use the word “no.” Instead, they disguise their “no” by offering a reason.


You ask: “Would you like to host a party and receive free products?”

She says: “Oh, I couldn’t!  My house isn’t big enough.”


You ask: “Would you like to learn more about our business opportunity?”

She says: “I don’t have enough time to own a business.”

In both cases, she has just said, “no.”  She didn’t want to break rapport, because she likes you!  So, instead of saying “no,” she gave you a reason. In essence, she is saying, “it’s not you, it’s me.”  She’s trying to let you down easy!

It’s important to know this because even if it’s disguised with a reason, no means no.  

If you attempt to overcome her objection, you risk breaking rapport and appearing pushy.  The reason being when you overcome an objection you are denying her reality. If you contend that she doesn’t need a large house to host a party, she thinks, “How do you know if my house is big enough?”  If you suggest that she has plenty of time to do just a few parties a month,” she thinks, “How do you know how much free time I have?”

Maintaining rapport with your client is crucially important, because people want to do business with people who care about them.  When you are in rapport, she feels cared about. When you deny her reality, she does not feel cared about.

Instead of breaking rapport by overcoming her objection, be prepared with your next offer.  

For example:

Let’s say, you’ve discovered that she still has items on her “wish list” after she places her order and you offer a party for her to get those items either free or at a discount.  

If she says: “Oh, I cannot host a party, my house isn’t big enough!”

You say, “I understand.  Another possibility is for you and I to meet, just the two of us.”  I am available on Thursday afternoon or Friday morning. What works better for you?


After dropping seeds during your party presentation, you always offer more information about the business opportunity.  

If she says, “I don’t have enough time to own a business.”

You say, “I understand.  Another possibility is to host a party where you’ll get free and discounted products and your friends will all discover _____________ (fill in the blank with the benefit of using your products).   Does that sound like something you would be interested in?”

Ideally, you will want to be in the habit of always having three offers in your metaphorical back pocket.  For example:

  1. Offer a party
  2. Offer a one-on-one appointment
  3. Offer to send her a link to a 3-5 minute product demonstration video


  1. Offer information about the business opportunity
  2. Offer a party
  3. Offer a one-on-one appointment

Always start with the biggest offer — the one that requires the most financial and time commitment.  Then move to an offer that requires a smaller commitment and finally, offer something that requires very little commitment.  

When you accept her “no” (even when it’s disguised as a reason), you not only maintain rapport, you build rapport. And the more rapport you build, the more she will want to find something to say “yes” to, even if that doesn’t happen until the next time you meet her.

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